Control

I have always been a control freak!

There, I've said it. I'm... a... control.... freak.

Recently the Lord has been working on my heart... my attitude... and my desire to control everything. It's amazing what the Lord will do with you, once you've decided to give Him control. The thing I fear most, losing everything I hold dear, the gripping fear, held me captive. I was captive to myself, and miserable. It was only when I gave my control up to the Lord... really handed each situation... the good, the bad, the ugly, that the Lord has taken my fear, my anxiety, and replaced it with peace. Comforting peace... and true happiness.

It's funny when I think about it... I mean, I am by no means perfect, and old habits die hard. But, it's almost comical when I think about how I was "hoarding" my fears, and my worries. I was acting as if the Lord didn't know them... as if they were too big for Him to handle.... as if I knew better. Me, little peon, me. Just a speck...

I mean, here I am... simple as I am... thinking I know better, and I can handle things on my own. I mean, after all, His is just the Creator of the universe. I mean, I take at least a few hours to make something like a cake... and He just spoke the world and it came into existence.

Why is it, that we think this way? Why does it always have to... "hit the fan" if you will.

Many years ago, I made the decision to follow Christ. But it hasn't been until recently, I let Him have it all. Yeah, I'm taking that leap of faith. I'm holding my Father's hand, and I'm going to jump.

Why is it, that as a child when someone they love tells them to jump from a high place, they'll always put their trust in that adult to catch them... and yet, when the Lord takes us to a place (and it doesn't even have to be high) and asks us to leap... we kind of look at him with one squinty eye and say "you've got to be kidding me! I'm not jumping there. No way Lord." Maybe that's what God meant when he compared the faith that we need to that of a child.

I have a long way to go... but I'm soo glad I'm on this road.

Thanks for listening to the random ramblings this evening...but I'm so calm, and excited... that I just had to share.