2011 is a year for change...

Hello all!

I have been intentionally quiet for the last few months. The reason is I didn't want to put too much out there before the right time.

So far here is the update as it is....

Jeremy's job was outsourced in February.... he started working for the new company (at the old place) April 1. (I may or may not have already posted something about that... I don't remember.)

One of the biggest changes in our lives at this moment is the fact that June 3 was my last day as an active teacher at Bethlehem Christian Academy. For more than a year I have felt the Lord tugging at my heart to seek a new direction in my life. Unfortunately, I wasn't willing to leap out in faith... I didn't want to leave something that I was "comfortable" with (albeit somewhat miserable part of the time). I was "in the groove" and leaving would be hard. This job (flaws and all) still seemed like a respectable career. It seemed like a career that would "make a difference" in someone's life. So, I plugged away. However, earlier this school year, after much prayer, and counsel from people I truly respect, Jeremy and I made the decision that I would not return to BCA for a 5th year.

It was bittersweet. Most of the students and parents took it well... a few were sad. It was nice, to hear, that even when I didn't feel like I was, I was still appreciated. (So, if you have kids and you haven't told your child's teacher you appreciate them... do it! It will make their day, and truly bless their hearts. Because most days I felt like an absolute failure as a teacher... but when someone would actually say some kind word in appreciation, it made me float on cloud nine for a few days. And, if that act of appreciation came in the form of a written sentiment... well, let's just say I probably STILL have it! If it came in a voicemail, I tried to keep it as long as possible, and definitely listened to it on a regular basis.)

I will miss my students from this year, but... the time has come to move on... although really it's "move back." I have decided to move back to working at the place I have truly loved the most throughout my years of working... those of you who know me, will know that place to be Breckenridge Village. I am very excited to start a new ministry... even though it's a different one, it's a journey I look forward to. We have made this leap of faith, and we're seeking the Lord's blessing in this move. I will be working the lunch shift Monday through Friday (and potentially 2 evenings a week while Jer is in school.)

So, as things change for us... please continue to hold us up in prayer. God is talking... and this time we're listening.

Stay tuned for more updates!!

New direction

Hello all....

Recently the Lord has been leading me in a new direction. I won't divulge too much on here before the "right time," but it is new and exciting.

It's definitely not something that I would have guessed a year ago, but... I definitely feel a strong leading from the Lord.

So if you think of me, please continue to keep Jeremy and I in your prayers. A lot of things will be changing in our lives over the near future. (And for those of you who think this is a pre-baby announcement, I'm sorry to disappoint you... but, as far as I know... we're not having a baby yet... so keep guessing.)

It just keeps coming back to the fact that Lord wants us to hold is hand, and trust in Him to absolutely provide for our needs. Sometimes, I just feel like I put God in a box. Like... "It's too big for you, God." or "It's too small for you to care." I know this is foolish talk, and really just a tool of the enemy... but now, I don't know... I'm just "listening."

The last 6 months have been an amazing adventure. Again... not exactly what I had hoped, or planned, or could have even imagined... and when I say "adventure" I don't even necessarily mean that it's been a "good one either." In fact, most of this adventure has been down right crappy. I am so thankful though, that I did have the Lord. I am sooo thankful for the people He has given to me in my life to help me out... even if they don't know the measure to which they have impacted my life.

I am petrified... but, yet, I am at peace. It has been an insanely long amount of time since I have felt this amount of peace.

So I say again... stay tuned... when the time is right... I will quit speaking cryptically. Until then... say a prayer (or a dozen) for our family... Jeremy has been amazing (and very supportive), and no doubt will continue to be so. But, those of you that know me know I am a control freak, and this is soooo out of character for me. Sooo... yeah... in the words of Elphaba from the musical Wicked (with a little editing from me) "Too late for second-guessing, Too late to go back to sleep, It's time to trust my instincts GOD!! Close my eyes: and leap!

Here's to trusting in a God who is WAAAY bigger than me. Who is able to do so much more than I can even imagine!

Thanks for reading (and praying!)

K

What percentage are you??

Recently Jeremy and I have been involved in a Bible study called "Not a Fan." The idea is to develop your walk with the Lord. The idea behind the title is that so many times it is easy for us to be "just a fan" of God but not necessarily a devoted follower.

It's always amazing how when God has a message He wants you to hear, how often you end up hearing it. We started the Bible study 3 weeks ago. During the first week I was leading morning devotions in my homeroom. Wouldn't you know, it was talking about our devotion to God.

During this time, the devotional encouraged students to think about how much time they spend doing things each day... It might go something like this....

6 hours sleeping
30 minutes getting ready
1 hour driving
30 minutes preparing for my students
71/2 hours teaching
30 minutes preparing to go home
1 hour driving
30 minutes exercising
1 hour showering, and doing my hair
30 minutes cooking
30 minutes eating
2 1/2 hours watching tv and grading papers

then I go to bed for the remaining 2 hours of the 24 hour period...

All that said,t his exercise wanted us to figure how much time we spend in prayer and reading the Bible... and really communicating with the Lord. I'd say, I spend between 15-30 minutes a day in prayer and Bible reading... which I always thought was "pretty good." Do you know what percentage that is? 1-2%. Now let's put it on a larger scale... think about the week... include church or whatnot... even on "super great weeks," I figure I'm about 2-6%.

Now I know what you're thinking... we do have things we need to do, and things that need to get done, and we have to work... and we need to sleep... and eat... and shower. I know that... I guess my point is, that I've always thought I was "doing really well," in regards to my walk... and that I did spend "a lot" of time with the Lord... but when I saw that I give a meager 2% of my day, I guess it hit me. YIKES!! I spend 10% -ish of my time watching tv, or facebooking, or just wasting time. I spend anywhere from 25-33% of my time, sleeping.

The reality of it all, just hit me. 2%? That's it? Now I have a great job that actually is conducive to my walking in that I work at a Christian school, so I am constantly reaffirming our belief, and able to delve into the Bible as often as I need or want to... but really, personal time... and all I give is 2%?

So, with the new Bible study (as I mentioned up there) I am trying to "redefine" my relationship with the Lord. I want to not only be a follower in outward appearance, but I also want to commit that it is a genuine relationship within.

I know I'm not perfect, but all I can say, is I'm on a new adventure... I really do want to be a Follower of Jesus Christ, instead of just a mediocre fan standing on the sidelines while everyone else does His work.

It is in this mindset that I am hoping and praying to see the Lord move. I am hoping and praying that He can use me. I am hoping and praying that I will continually seek and be in His will (not mine). It is because of Jesus that I even have hope at all.

Anyway... it's just somethings to think about... it was very eye-opening for me, and I really wanted to have it documented more for myself to look back on... but I figure if someone else stops and thinks about it.. then it probably is good too.

All right that's all I've got now. Stay tuned for the next episode.

My Knight in shinin

Hi all!

I don't have a lot to say that's new... but I would like it to go on record that Jeremy is a fantastic man and a wonderful husband. He is far more than I deserve. He is kind, and patient. He will help ANYONE if they need help. He is a gentleman. He is compassionate. He has very soft hands (and even softer lips... but I guess you wouldn't know that...)

He brightens up my day in soo many ways. I feel blessed on so many levels to have such a wonderful man not only in my life, but also as my husband.

He has challenged me in my walk with the Lord. He has encouraged me to be the best I can be. He never looks down on me when I disappoint myself... and never seems disappointed in me when I seem to miss the mark. He is my biggest cheerleader! He makes me smile... even when I'm annoyed... when I get cold, he does all he can to warm me up. He has an amazing sense of humor... and scary enough mine is evolving into a morphic version of his. He is always an optimist, and chooses to see the good in people. Even when he is frustrated, he continues to barrel ahead.

He never keeps record of my wrongdoings. He is extremely patient with my family, even when I'm not. He is strong, and determined. He is worthy of respect. He is loyal to his friends, and family. He is a GREAT listener. He is always willing to go the extra mile. He works hard, and gives me a Godly example of a great work ethic. He's a great provider, and is always looking for ways to improve himself. He's determined, and perseveres.

He loves like no other. I could continue to write on and on about this amazing man that I get the privilege to share my life with.... but I wouldn't want to make everyone jealous.

He really is a fabulous guy! I couldn't be luckier, or happier. :-) Thanks my dear for being such a great example to me on how to live as God would have me live.

~Your wife, Kellee~

Control

I have always been a control freak!

There, I've said it. I'm... a... control.... freak.

Recently the Lord has been working on my heart... my attitude... and my desire to control everything. It's amazing what the Lord will do with you, once you've decided to give Him control. The thing I fear most, losing everything I hold dear, the gripping fear, held me captive. I was captive to myself, and miserable. It was only when I gave my control up to the Lord... really handed each situation... the good, the bad, the ugly, that the Lord has taken my fear, my anxiety, and replaced it with peace. Comforting peace... and true happiness.

It's funny when I think about it... I mean, I am by no means perfect, and old habits die hard. But, it's almost comical when I think about how I was "hoarding" my fears, and my worries. I was acting as if the Lord didn't know them... as if they were too big for Him to handle.... as if I knew better. Me, little peon, me. Just a speck...

I mean, here I am... simple as I am... thinking I know better, and I can handle things on my own. I mean, after all, His is just the Creator of the universe. I mean, I take at least a few hours to make something like a cake... and He just spoke the world and it came into existence.

Why is it, that we think this way? Why does it always have to... "hit the fan" if you will.

Many years ago, I made the decision to follow Christ. But it hasn't been until recently, I let Him have it all. Yeah, I'm taking that leap of faith. I'm holding my Father's hand, and I'm going to jump.

Why is it, that as a child when someone they love tells them to jump from a high place, they'll always put their trust in that adult to catch them... and yet, when the Lord takes us to a place (and it doesn't even have to be high) and asks us to leap... we kind of look at him with one squinty eye and say "you've got to be kidding me! I'm not jumping there. No way Lord." Maybe that's what God meant when he compared the faith that we need to that of a child.

I have a long way to go... but I'm soo glad I'm on this road.

Thanks for listening to the random ramblings this evening...but I'm so calm, and excited... that I just had to share.

half way there!!

If you have been watching the ticker, you know I am half way to my weight loss goal.

Back in October 2010 my best friend Kelly was telling me about a "new" (at least new to me) exercise video. She described it as a circuit training type video where you do 3 minutes of strength training, 2 minutes of cardio, and 1 minute abs. At the time I was going to the gym for an hour each day after school (with very little to show for it). So I said, sure. Why not! What do I have to lose. The video is called the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels.

She also admitted that when she had done this video before, she had never done more than 3-5 days. So... I was up for the challenge. Since I am an insanely suborn person, I decided to start. I did exactly 30 days straight without a single day off. I was very proud of myself.

When the 30 days was up, I had formed an exercise routine (yay! Finally!) that I enjoyed. So I kept it up.

Needless to say, here I sit, February 1st, 2011... I am half way to my goal to lose 40 pounds. I am so excited at my progress. (And also thrilled that I didn't throw away all my clothes that didn't fit... my wardrobe is nearly brand new now!! It's like shopping in my closet!)

So stay tuned!!

K

Also notice my new ticker.... the days until our Hawaii trip!

Leap of Faith

Well, we're almost done with January 2011.

This past month has had me doing a lot of soul searching. Mostly it has had me pondering faith. One evening I was showering, and I was praying. I do this a lot. I feel this is the time I am most relaxed and able to communicate with the Lord. (My other favorite place is in the car in the morning.)

I was praying a prayer that I have been praying for about 4 or 5 months now. We've been praying that the Lord would provide a new job for Jeremy. (This would be a huge accomplishment toward the goal of starting a family.) Then all of a sudden it dawned on me.... the Lord was speaking to me, I feel... that maybe, instead of waiting for the Lord to provide a job and then start seriously thinking about a family... maybe He wants us to take that leap of faith and trust that He will provide the job that Jeremy needs.

Needless to say, I have been pondering this all week. I have come to question "What's the difference between a 'Leap of Faith' and just 'being reckless'?" I have been doing a lot of praying... and a lot of studying the Bible.

If anyone out there is actually reading this, I wouldn't mind another perspective. What do you think constitutes a leap of faith?

Well, those are my thoughts for now....

K